


Dichotomy

by Terminallydepraved



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Date Night, Kissing, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:07:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terminallydepraved/pseuds/Terminallydepraved
Summary: The perfect date is a work in progress, and can be found for the low, low price of only 400 jenny.





	Dichotomy

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote a fic for yogl in exchange for tasty tasty carnitas. the latter half of this fic also details a date we went on together. i am hisoka in it, and yog is chrollo. its a fun time so i hope yall enjoy it!

In the low, intimate light of the restaurant, Hisoka had to think that Chrollo had never looked more beautiful. Of course, Chrollo always looked beautiful. It was just one of those things, a sort of universal constant that plagued Hisoka’s every waking thought. He rested his cheek on his propped up hand, smiling at his date from across the table. 

“You really do look lovely,” he said, tearing Chrollo away from his staring. From the moment they had been seated Chrollo had busied himself with taking in the decor. The restaurant was fancy, high-end. It normally took weeks, maybe even months to get a table here, and the atmosphere reflected it. Luckily for Hisoka he’d been able to throw his weight around a little and get them one for the weekend. “Have you ever been to a place like this before?” The candlelight bathed them both in a warm glow. What a treat this was to have Chrollo all to himself on a night like this.

Chrollo tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, mindful of the careful styling that had gone into creating his look for tonight. He fidgeted in his seat and put on a tight smile. “Never,” he admitted, folding his hands in his lap as a waiter walked past carrying a tray covered with a silver dome. His eyes followed the movement carefully. “To be honest with you, I’m not sure I fit in here.”

“Oh?” As far as Hisoka could tell Chrollo looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. He quirked a brow and smiled. “Why do you say that?”

“Well--” Chrollo began only to stop, cut off by the arrival of their waiter with all the punctuality of a clock chime. Chrollo sat a little straighter and looked at his place setting, letting the waiter address Hisoka instead of him. 

“Good evening,” the man said, his voice low and accented. He held his white-gloved hands together, looking at Hisoka with a tight, impersonal smile. “Have you had a chance to look over the menu?”

Hisoka had. Chrollo had looked at it for a minute before setting it aside, not touching it again. He looked at Chrollo and Chrollo avoided his eye. Hmm. “Yes, I do believe we’re ready,” he said. “I’ll have the boeuf bourguignon for my entree, alongside a classic salade niçoise.” 

“An excellent choice, sir,” the waiter said, looking expectantly at Chrollo next. “And for your date?”

Chrollo looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. His lips parted, closed, parted once again, but he didn’t say anything. He glanced at Hisoka as the waiter shifted, the man’s polite smile growing tight at the edges. 

“My lovely date will have the coq au vin,” Hisoka said, taking pity on Chrollo before the waiter was forced to ask again. Once the man stopped looking at Chrollo, Chrollo relaxed instantly. “For his starter, let’s have a gratin dauphinois,” he figured, recalling the menu and its less adventurous fare. “As for wine, I’ll have a dark burgundy to go with my meal. My date will have a sweet merlot, or perhaps a rosé. Whichever is more expensive.”

The waiter raised a brow. “Sir, I would recommend your date have a dark red to better pair with his meal--”

Hisoka frowned and the man quickly fell silent. “He’ll have what I’ve said,” he murmured. “Thank you.” 

Beneath the table Chrollo’s foot brushed Hisoka’s shin. Hisoka smiled. The waiter bowed his head and practically ran back to the kitchens, leaving them alone once more. 

“Anyway,” Hisoka said, turning his attention back to Chrollo as if they hadn’t been interrupted. “As you were saying?”

Chrollo colored messily. He rubbed at his upper arm self-consciously, staring at the fancy water glass sitting beside his plate. “Do I really need to explain it after that?” he wondered, sneaking a glance at Hisoka. “You had to order for me.”

Hisoka blinked. “Did you mean to order for yourself?” he asked. “If I didn’t get what you wanted I can always call the waiter back--”

“No,” Chrollo rushed, bringing his hands up to stop him from trying. “No, don’t. It’s fine. That’s not… That’s not what I meant. By that. At all.” He trailed off and slouched a little in his seat. “I didn’t have anything in mind to order. I… In all honesty, I couldn’t even read the menu.”

Oh. Hisoka struggled to find something to say to that. The waiter however arrived with their wine before he could. They both fell silent and sat a little straighter as the dour man stood tableside with someone who had to be the sommelier. Chrollo stared at his plate while the wine was poured. The waiter treated Hisoka to a lengthy explanation of each wine’s virtues and notes, going on and on about how expensive and luxurious this vintage was. It took entirely too long for him to leave. Hisoka let out a breath once they were alone again.

“Have you never been to a place like this before?” he asked, taking up his wine to smell it. It irked him a little that the waiter had been right to talk it up so much. It certainly was a good choice. 

Chrollo shrugged his narrow shoulders and picked up his own merlot, not bothering to sniff it or sip it. Instead, he took a large mouthful, swallowing it in a way that would no doubt horrify the majority of the diners and wait staff alike. He swirled the dark wine in his glass and met Hisoka’s gaze.

“What do you think?”

Hisoka huffed out a laugh. He looked down at the place setting in front of him, counting out the many forks and spoons and knives of different sizes and purposes. Chrollo wouldn’t know how to use them, would he? “I am such a considerate date, aren’t I?” he sighed, taking a swig of his own wine. “Do you want to stay?”

“We already ordered,” Chrollo said, furrowing his brow. “It’s fine, Hisoka. You wanted to take me here and you went to a lot of effort to do it. I’ll be fine. It’s just a little jarring, is all.”

Hisoka raised a brow. Chrollo said that but he was holding himself tightly, sitting like he might be asked to leave at any given moment. He really should have anticipated this. Given Chrollo’s background it had been a little inconsiderate to assume he would have experience in a stuffy setting like this. Hisoka himself only dined like this occasionally, usually when he had someone to impress or awe. What an idiot he had been, thinking this of all things would inspire something like that in someone like Chrollo. 

But their food was here, he saw, and that put their conversation on hold once more. Really, Hisoka had to think the waiter was doing it on purpose. What else could explain these perfectly timed entrances?

The man had with him another waiter this time, each balancing a brilliantly polished silver dome in their hands. One went in front of Hisoka and the other went in front of Chrollo, and with a flourish the tops were removed to reveal the expensive dishes beneath.

Hisoka had to smile as the scent of perfectly cooked food filled his nose. It all looked beautiful, expertly plated and seasoned and as pretty as a magazine picture. The waiter and his helper stood tableside, waiting for the sign that everything was up to snuff.

“It looks perfect,” Hisoka said, noticing how Chrollo refused to look up while they stood there. “That’ll be all.”

“Of course, sir,” their waiter simpered, folding his hands in front of his chest. “Do let us know if there’s anything we can get you. Anything at all.”

Hisoka nodded and the men wandered off, disappearing in the dim shadows outside of their table’s island of candlelight. Chrollo slowly relaxed, staring down at his food. His dish looked delicious, and he had to think Chrollo thought so too. Chrollo’s hands hovered over the array of tableware. Hisoka bit his lip, tapping the one he was meant to use. 

“This one is for salad,” he said, watching Chrollo drop the fork he had picked up. “You need the entree one.”

“Why are there so many?” Chrollo muttered, glancing around to make sure the waiter wouldn’t hear. “Isn’t that just confusing? Why use so many when one is plenty? Those poor dishwashers.” He paused to stare at his chicken. “What did you order me anyway?” he wondered. “The name sounded dirty.”

Hisoka hid his laugh in his hand. Chrollo picked up the proper fork and began to prod at his coq a vin. “It’s chicken,” he told him, rolling his eyes when Chrollo speared a piece and brought it to his nose to smell. “Cooked in wine. It’s pretty good. I’ve never had it here, but I’d assume for as much as I’m paying it better be good.”

Chrollo put the bite in his mouth and chewed carefully. His brow furrowed, and he swallowed. Hisoka raised a brow expectantly. 

“So?”

“It’s… different,” Chrollo said. He prodded around for another bite, sipping his wine a little. “How’s yours?”

Hisoka looked down at his plate and reached for the proper knife and fork. He didn’t need to cut the beef; it fell apart with just a bit of prodding, the stew steeped in flavor and spices. Hisoka coaxed a bite onto his fork and ate it, smiling as the beef melted on his tongue. “It’s wonderful,” he said, going in for another bite. “Could do with more truffle, but I suppose that’s more preference than common practice.”

“You eat like this a lot, don’t you?”

Hisoka shrugged, reaching for his wine. Chrollo didn’t bother trying to find the proper knife for his dinner. He picked and prodded, stabbing at his potatoes and eating small bites here and there. “When I feel like spoiling myself,” he said, trying to catch Chrollo’s eye. “I want to spoil you too.”

Chrollo lifted his head and smiled. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s…” he laughed softly, looking around the fancy, quiet room. In a place like this it felt rude to speak above a whisper. “It’s certainly like stepping into another world.”

“One I gather you aren’t a fan of.”

White teeth sank into a bottom lip. Chrollo’s gaze became avoidant. “It’s just different,” he said after a moment of silence. 

Hisoka took another bite but found it didn’t taste as good anymore. He frowned, setting down his knife and fork. Chrollo looked the part; by all means, he looked like he fit in with the fancy decor and expensive food, with the gold filigree gilding every inch of this place. But beneath it… 

“Let’s get out of here.”

Chrollo looked up from his picked at chicken, his fork clattering a little against the fancy china plate. “Excuse me?” 

“What? You aren’t comfortable here and I want our date to be something you enjoy.” He pulled out his wallet and threw a few large bills onto the table. How much did he owe? Oh, whatever. That was probably plenty to cover it, and the waiter could keep the rest as an undeserved tip.

“Are you serious?” Chrollo breathed. 

Hisoka smiled and stood up, and Chrollo rushed to match him. Hisoka held up a finger and grabbed his half full glass of wine, downing it in one quick pull. Chrollo let out an exasperated huff of a laugh when Hisoka quickly did the same with Chrollo’s.

“What?” he asked, delightfully warm as he wrapped his arm around Chrollo’s narrow waist and tugged him towards the door. “I paid for the wine; shouldn’t I drink it?”

“You lush,” Chrollo chided, grinning at their waiter when they passed him by. “You’ll never get a table here again.”

Hisoka shrugged and presented their coat check ticket to the woman behind the counter with a bit of flourish, giving Chrollo his full attention. “Why does that matter? There are other places I can go,” he said, taking Chrollo’s coat and helping him into it. He took the chance it was to wrap his arms around Chrollo, kissing his soft nape. “There are plenty of other places I could take you for a good time.”

Chrollo waved him off with a roll of the eyes, pulling away to let Hisoka put on his own coat. “I think I’ve wasted enough of your money already with this… abortive dinner,” he said quietly, holding himself tightly as Hisoka buttoned his coat. The woman behind the counter was careful not to watch them, but Hisoka had a feeling she was listening regardless. 

The sooner they left this place, the sooner they could go back to being themselves. 

“Nonsense,” he said, gathering Chrollo under his arm to guide him out the door. The night was brisk outside, chilly and crisp and the epitome of autumnal bliss. The moon was high and the stars were lost in the lights of the city. Hisoka breathed it all in, letting out with a squeeze to Chrollo’s hip. “I can’t think of a better reason to spend my money. Where do you want to go? Let me make it up to you.”

Chrollo was trying and failing to hide his smile, and Hisoka couldn’t help but pull him close enough to kiss. It was a quick one, nothing but a chaste ghost of a tease, Chrollo’s full bottom lip caught between his own, but it was enough to taste that smile for himself. Chrollo humored him for a few seconds, resting a warm hand on Hisoka’s cheek. 

“Anywhere?” he whispered, opening his dark eyes every so slightly in a way that had to be calculated. “Anywhere at all?”

“I’m going to regret this, won’t I?” Hisoka mused, smiling when Chrollo’s grew wider. “Sure. Anywhere you want.”

Chrollo pulled away but not before lacing their fingers together, tugging Hisoka away from the French restaurant and off into the night. “This way, then,” he said, acting like he knew exactly where he was while in a city he’d only known thanks to Hisoka’s constant outings. 

They made their way away from the glitz and glamor of the high end district and into the side of town Hisoka affectionately referred to as the Uptown of Downtown. Here you wouldn’t find boutiques and shopping destinations. Instead, you’d find pawn shops, residentials, and the sort of back alleys that invited illicit activity. It had its shiny parts, and it certainly had its dull ones. The only time Hisoka ever came this way was for a corner pastry shop that sold the best macaroons the city had to offer. 

Chrollo, on the other hand, seemed fairly comfortable leading them through this area. He tugged Hisoka another few blocks and then down an alley, stopping in front of a small little restaurant that boasted a dull red awning and a facade that had definitely seen better days. 

“Here?” Hisoka had to ask, even as Chrollo opened the door and pulled him inside.

A bell rang overhead, signalling their arrival. 

Compared to the low-lit French restaurant, this place was almost jarring. Bright fluorescent lights illuminated the empty diner, glinting off the worn, black-and-white tile like something from a decade long past. The booths--and they were booths, not tables--were made of bright red faux leather, a bottle of ketchup and mustard at every end along with the laminated paper menus. It was a classic diner through and through. All that was missing was a jukebox in the corner--

Oh, Hisoka thought, turning his head. There it was. There was actually a jukebox in the corner.

Chrollo squeezed Hisoka’s hand. “You did say anywhere,” he smiled, tugging him past the  _ Please Seat Yourself  _ sign and towards a booth near the back. 

“That I did,” Hisoka admitted, sliding into the far side so he faced the door and register. “But don’t you think we’re a little overdressed for a place like this?”

Instead of sitting across from him, Chrollo joined Hisoka on his side of the booth. Their thighs brushed and their shoulders bumped. “I think it’s nice,” he said, reaching past Hisoka for a menu that Hisoka could tell already was going to feel faintly sticky. “Besides, we’re the only ones in here. It’s not like anyone will see.”

The sound of squeaky shoes on the tile floor cut through Hisoka’s witty retort. A tired looking waitress turned the corner separating the booths from the open kitchen, a small spiral notepad in her hand and a pen behind her ear. Her eyes widened a fraction when she caught sight of them in their fancy clothes. A smile teased her lips, but she didn’t comment on it.

“Evenin’,” she said instead, flipping open her notepad. “What can I get you?”

Hisoka quickly glanced down at the menu Chrollo held in his hands. It was typical diner food. Mostly burgers of various types, fries, shakes, so on and so on. Chrollo looked up and smiled brightly. “I’ll have the double with cheese, pickles, and no onions,” he said confidently. “And fries, please.”

She wrote it down easily enough. “Do you want a shake with that?” she asked, nodding her head towards a board on the wall that displayed a startlingly long list of milkshake flavors. “Meals come with a shake for just a fifty jenny upgrade.”

Chrollo perked up immediately. He looked at the list of flavors for a moment before turning to whisper to Hisoka. “If I get a milkshake, will you share it with me?” he asked.

Hisoka smiled. First the setting, now sharing a milkshake? “I had no idea you were so fond of the classics,” he said, putting his arm around the back of the seat. “Sure. Order what you want.”

The waitress blushed a little at Chrollo’s bright smile. “Yes, please. Can we get the birthday cake one? With two spoons.”

“Of course, darling,” she said, absolutely smitten. She looked at Hisoka next. “What will you have?”

“Hmm, I’ll have the…” Hisoka tugged the menu closer and looked quickly over the pictures. “I’ll take a mushroom and swiss burger,” he decided. “And some fries. A water as well.”

The whisper of her pen was here and gone, her shorthand written faster than Hisoka could blink. “I’ll get those right in for you,” she promised, nodding her head before walking back towards the kitchen, her shoes squeaking in her wake. 

Chrollo bounced a little in the seat, peering over the menu to read the rest of it. Hisoka had to smile. “You look a lot more at home here,” he observed, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind Chrollo’s ear. He’d styled it for him before they left the suite. Chrollo hadn’t sat patiently for it, but the result spoke for itself. 

“I like places like these,” Chrollo said, leaning into his hand a little. “They don’t make you use fifteen forks here.”

Hisoka laughed. The jukebox in the corner slowly thrummed its way to life, playing some old bop from at least twenty years ago. Must be on a timer. He entertained himself with petting Chrollo’s hair, a little happy they had left that French place to come here. He could actually sit beside Chrollo in this restaurant, and touch him freely. Or well, touch him within reason. He didn’t relish the thought of what the waitress might do to his burger if she came back and caught him fondling Chrollo in her nice, clean… er, sticky booth. No need to make it stickier. 

Chrollo noticed their food coming before Hisoka did. He perked up and bounced in the seat, nearly vibrating as the waitress came back with a platter filled with burgers, fries, and their shake. She smiled at Chrollo and he certainly smiled back at her, setting down Chrollo’s food first and then Hisoka’s. 

“Here you go, darling,” she said, sliding Chrollo his milkshake. It was very big and had a bright red cherry on top, sprinkles cascading down a large mountain of whipped cream. “You let me know if you need anything else, okay?”

“Thank you ma’am, we will,” Chrollo promised, smiling at her before he turned to dig in. He immediately plucked the cherry from the milkshake and popped it into his mouth. The stem he sat on a napkin. 

“Eager, aren’t you?” Hisoka teased, pulling his plate closer to him. 

“Oh, did you want the cherry?” Chrollo wondered, not sounding apologetic at all. “You can have the stem if you want.”

“And what would I do with the stem?”

Chrollo shrugged and watched him curiously as Hisoka unwrapped the silverware that came with his meal. “I don’t know, tie it? That seems like the sort of thing you would do…”

“Well, I  _ could _ ,” Hisoka said, taking up the knife and fork in either hand. “But I think I’ll save that sort of show for when we’re back home.”

Instead of a witty retort about Hisoka being cocky, Chrollo just stared at Hisoka in horror. “Are you serious right now?” he asked, watching as Hisoka used his knife and fork to cut his burger into bite-sized triangles. 

Hisoka popped one into his mouth and raised a brow. “What?” he asked once he had swallowed. He reached for the ketchup off to the side and began drizzling it atop his fries in even little lines. 

Chrollo’s jaw dropped. “The hell is wrong with you?” he demanded, snatching the bottle of ketchup from him before Hisoka could finish. “Why are you ruining your fries like that?”

Rolling his eyes, Hisoka speared a few of the thin shoestring fries with his fork and lifted them towards his mouth. “Are you really going to lecture me about how I eat my fries?” he wondered, noting how Chrollo put his ketchup on the side of his plate like he was proving some sort of point. 

“And your burger too,” Chrollo said, pulling out his phone to snap a picture of Hisoka’s plate. He shook his head and rattled off a text, hitting send before Hisoka could see what he had written. “What kind of person eats a burger like that?”

“The kind that eats a burger while wearing a suit that costs more than the restaurant that prepared it,” Hisoka answered, pointedly cutting off another triangle and eating it too. 

“You are so embarrassing,” Chrollo said, rolling his eyes. He picked up his burger pointedly in his hands and took a big bite, washing it down with some of the milkshake. “You never would have survived on the streets. Forks aren’t a thing in Meteor City.”

Well, a lot of things weren’t a “thing” in Meteor City. Hisoka ate some more of his burger and pushed it to the side. He tugged the milkshake closer, dipping in the second spoon to taste the cake flavored ice cream. It was just as sweet as he had anticipated. Despite his desire to share, Chrollo was probably going to be drinking the majority of this himself. 

“Is there a reason why you picked this place?” Hisoka wondered, taking another look around the barren diner. It’s location was out of the way, and the food--while perfectly serviceable--wasn’t anything to write home about. “Do you like burgers more than linen napkins or something?”

He’d caught Chrollo mid-bite. “There was a little place like this,” Chrollo said after swallowing his mouthful of dipped-not-drenched fries. “Back when I first left Meteor City. Just a little hole-in-the-wall. Barely had two tables in it. A burger place.” Chrollo wiped his fingers on his napkin, looking at his plate with a fond smile. “It was the first place I went to after I left. I didn’t know anything on the menu, but the woman who owned it was so nice. She explained it all, and I ordered.”

Hisoka speared another few fries with his fork, popping them into his mouth. “What did you order?”

“A cheeseburger,” Chrollo laughed, resting his head on his propped up hand. “Fries, too. It was the best food I’d ever tasted.”

“So, what you’re saying is that I fucked up monumentally in taking you to that French place?” Hisoka teased, stealing one of Chrollo’s ketchup-free fries to dip in the shared milkshake. 

“I think the bigger fuck up was you ruining your fries with that mess,” Chrollo replied, smacking the back of Hisoka’s hand with his spoon when he tried to steal another fry. “Don’t go snatching up mine just because your bad taste is catching up with you. Order another plate.”

Hisoka laughed and shook out his stinging hand. He waved at the waitress to get her attention before giving Chrollo all of his. Cheeseburgers, fries, and birthday cake milkshakes. At least he knew now that the perfect date could be found for less than four hundred jenny. 

“If you eat yourself sick again don’t expect me to carry you home,” he warned, signalling for another plate of fries. 

Chrollo just smiled around his candy striped straw. Funny, that. He called Hisoka’s bluff without saying anything at all. 

“It’s comfortable here,” Chrollo said. He smiled at the waitress when she came up with a plate of piping hot fries. “I want to be comfortable with you.”

Hisoka let his arm slip off the back of the booth and rested it around Chrollo’s shoulders instead. He picked up some fries with his fingers, dipping them in the milkshake once more. That was a cute thought, wasn’t it? He’d have to remember this place for next time.

Though, maybe next time they’d dress down a little. 

**Author's Note:**

> that was a fun time and i hope it was good for you too. if youd like a fic and would like to buy me carnitas for one, hit me up on tumblr and we can see what i can do. until next time~


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